They say they’ve figured out the top five s-e-xual needs of men and women; what spouses love and hate about s-e-x, and what they can do outside the bedroom to elicit the greatest results inside the bedroom.

“Great s-ex isn’t just a grope, a grab, and a romp in the sack. Truly great, deeply satisfying s-e-x happens only when husbands and wives aspire to meet each other’s deepest, most intimate needs.”

Here are the experts top 10 tips to nurture intimacy and love in your marriage:

1. Give your spouse affirmation such as genuine compliments or by actively listening to what he or she has to say. Give your spouse the opportunity to slow down from life’s busy pace and ensure you encourage your spouse during stressful times.

2. Connect to your spouse emotionally prior to s-e-xually. Check in with each other during the day, do activities together, lighten each other’s loads. Remind her that you would marry her all over again.

3. Not all touch has to be sexual. Men are often the ones who need to be reminded to hold hands, give hugs, a gentle touch or kiss— it’s a physical sign that your partner is special to you.

4. Initiate and respond to each other’s emotional bids throughout the day: flirt with one another, maintain eye contact when talking, lighten up with one. Aim to reignite the spark between you by connecting verbally and non-verbally.

5. Date one another regularly! Men, get the baby sitter and make arrangements to take your wife out on a date. Resist dinner and movie all the time and spoil her through sharing conversation on topics outside money, work and the kids. That is how you “won her”! You can do it.

6. Brag about your spouse in front of his or your family and friends. Remind everyone that you are crazy about your spouse and that you are grateful for the incredible person you shared wedding cake with whether it was in the last year or decades ago. Public expression of love for one another never grows old.

7. Create boundaries around your marriage. Safe guarding it from with others outside your marriage. Have clearly defined boundaries when it comes to friends of the opposite gender, parents and co-workers. Always honour your spouse and their confidentiality being cautious to never dishonour him or her through humour or sharing the secrets you share as a married couple.

8. Show your kids that your spouse is number one in your life. Many of us are really good at parenting but need some help becoming better lovers. Remember, the kids will leave some day (at least we hope) but your marriage is your primary relationship that you want to nurture and protect.

9. Strengthen romance in your marriage. Surprise your spouse with fun times of focusing on just one another: reminisce on memories of days when you met, visit old places you enjoyed together and make new memories. Take walks, hold hands, share your dreams with one another and let your spouse know that he/she is enough for you and that you are a one woman man or a one man woman.

10. Join each other in one another’s worlds of interests. Participate in an activity your spouse enjoys even though you wouldn’t ordinarily do so. This shows you are not self centred and interested in loving your spouse in their world. It will make great memories and spur conversation between each other.