Romantic relationships, in all of their complexity, are a fundamental component of our lives. And as the poet Rainer Maria Rilke mused, “There is scarcely anything more difficult than to love one another.”
5. HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF
The relationship you have with yourself is arguably the foundation on which your other relationships are built, and studies are supporting this notion. High self-esteem predicts better relationship satisfaction, and high self-esteem of both partners is an even better predictor of strong relationship satisfaction. Moreover, people with high self-esteem appear to respond more constructively and positively during conflict when they think their partner is committed to the relationship, whereas people with low self-esteem don’t do this even when they believe their partner is committed.
Put it into practice: Like most things, increasing the quality of your relationship can take time. Begin from a place that you can believe. It’s okay if right now you have a hard time believing that you’re a worthwhile person. You don’t have to tell yourself that yet if you don’t believe it. Start by identifying at least one thing you like about yourself or one thing you’re good at doing. Then, look for other things from that starting point. Remember, more of what you look for tends to pop out, so look for not only what your partner does right, but what you do right.
Source: Harvard Ext School
